Woman Slept While Tornado Ripped Off Her Roof

A satirical look at current events!

Woman Slept While Tornado Ripped Off Her Roof:  A 77-year-old Alabama woman said she fell asleep on the couch and didn't realize that a tornado had ripped off much of her roof and damaged most of her home until firefighters and neighbors came to check on her.  All I can say is, that must have been one helluva comfortable couch!

Mexican Traffickers Moving Pot Farms to US Forests:  In a move that could create risks for hunters and other park goers, the US Park Service is reporting that Mexican drug traffickers are now planting their pot crop deep inside American forests.  I’ll tell you one thing, it’ll certainly make a lot of people rethink their image of “Smokey Bear.”

Kate Winslet Headed to Space:  A year after she rescued his mother from a fire and recently married his nephew, Kate Winslet has been given a free ticket to blast into space aboard one of Sir Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic space flights.  And if she decides to take her brand-new hubby along, she’ll most likely join the exclusive 300-Mile-High-Club.


Study Shows Doctors Do Not Report Colleagues:  A new survey says that many doctors do not report other doctors who are drunk, addicted to drugs, mentally ill or outright incompetent.  Its also quite possible that other doctors did report them, but nobody could read their handwriting.

LA Starts Gun Buyback Program 2012:  The Los Angeles Police Department has started their 4th annual gun buyback program for 2012, a program which offers Angelenos grocery gift cards in exchange for guns.  So for all of you who have been stockpiling those AK47’s and AR15’s, I hear Safeway is having a big sale on frozen, petite, broccoli florets this week. 

Hawking Wants Buzz Aldrin for Joint Venture:  Stephen Hawking, one of the world's leading astrophysicists, has recently asked former astronaut Buzz Aldrin to team-up for an effort to promote space exploration.  Can’t blame Hawking for trying to catch a good Buzz.


New Habitat for Big Cats Who Worked at MGM Grand: Dozens of lions that used to entertain tourists at the MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas have a new gig at the recently opened Lion Habitat Ranch in nearby Henderson, Nev.  For anyone interested in getting in to see the big cats, there’s a small cover and a two elk minimum.

Mummified Remains Found in LA:  Los Angeles County authorities are investigating whether year-old mummified remains discovered in a Benedict Canyon home are those of actress Yvette Vickers, who starred in the 1950s cult horror movies "Attack of the 50 Foot Woman" and "Attack of the Giant Leeches."  Its kind of a shame she’s dead because publicity like this could really revive a horror film career.

Utah Teachers Get Free Gun Training:  Nearly 200 Utah teachers attended a free training session on how to properly handle firearms organized by the Utah Shooting Sports Council in preparation for teachers carrying firearms in the classrooms.  Teachers packing heat?  And to think that just a few short years ago everyone used to think that the Nuns with their rulers were real badasses!

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