Woman Kills Boyfriend with Stiletto Heel: What started with a Houston couple having a pleasant dinner and drinks at a local restaurant, ended up in a heated argument and the girl killing her boyfriend with the stiletto heel of her shoe. I have no idea what the hell they were arguing about, but it sounds like he got the point.
Men's Wearhouse Ousts Founder George Zimmer: According to a brief statement from the company, Men's Wearhouse has fired George Zimmer - founder, chairman and the public face of the discount apparel chain. Guess they didn’t like the way he looked.
Female Terrorists Getting Exploding Breast Implants: British spy satellites have apparently intercepted terrorist communications from Pakistan and Yemen, talking about women suicide bombers getting explosives put inside breast implants. We can only hope that any terrorist who tries something like this gets busted.
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Air Jordan Buyers Pepper-Sprayed: Police have come under criticism after using “pepper spray” to gain control of a crowd who were waiting in line to buy the new Air Jordan Concord XI sneakers in a suburb of Seattle. I don’t know, seems like blasting them with “foot spray” would have been a better choice.
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Models Eating Cotton Balls to Lose Weight: Bria Murphy, Eddie Murphy's 23-year-old model daughter, has revealed to the media that some models, in an effort to stay thin, swallow cotton balls dipped in fruit juice to make them feel full. Models eating cotton balls? Hell, that must mean my dog wants to be a model. I have to be honest, I didn't even realize that cotton had balls.
Gun Rights for the Mentally Ill: Across the country, states are increasingly restoring the right to carry firearms to people who had previously lost that right due to a mental illness. Lawmakers defended the action, pointing out that it would simply be unconscionable to leave our nation’s mentally ill defenseless against a better-equipped and heavily-armed imaginary enemy.
Bill Clinton Named Father of the Year: Bill Clinton has been awarded the title of Father-of-the-Year, which has been presented by the National Father's Day Committee since 1942, at a New York City luncheon. Sources on the committee say other fathers came close, but no cigar.
Kim Kardashian Has a Baby Girl: TMZ reports that Kim Kardashian has given birth to a baby girl, one month before she was due—and Kanye West was there for the whole thing. Congratulations to Kim and Kanye. Condolences to the baby.
Financial Institutions Rejecting Porn Industry: CNBC is reporting that many porn stars and porn execs are having difficulty getting loans and opening bank accounts. Perhaps they should consider using a sperm bank instead.
John Malkovich Aides Bleeding Man: Actor John Malkovich came to the rescue on a Toronto street when a tourist in the city, tripped and fell, slashed his neck on some scaffolding and then began bleeding profusely. Some are calling him a hero, but others say he was just “Being John Malkovich.”
